My life as a teenager was stressful, chaotic and full of anxiety. I struggled with so many emotions and found myself often alone when I had to deal with them. To be honest, there is so much age gap between our generation and our parents that things are not what they used to be which makes it near to impossible for them to understand even an iota of our feelings. This leads to immense frustration and a path to horrible mistakes. Personally, I learned everything the hard way but, friends and possible foes, do not get upset as I am here to pass my wisdom and knowledge to you all. So, grab a steaming cup of coffee with some chocolaty goodness and get comfortable as I share my top ten things I wish I had known when I was a teenager.
“I know who I am. I am not perfect. I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world. But I’m one of them”, Mary J. Blige
1) You are beautiful
Growing up I had a lot of insecurities. I had a problem with everything about myself and I blame media for it because I would look at Hollywood actress and their soft, beyond comparable and faultless features and compare them mine not realizing that they themselves are so unconfident that they have gotten plastic surgery.Yes, the celebrities you idealize are as plastic as Kardashian’s body. After fighting a long battle of being enough, I came to a conclusion that you are beautiful the way you are. Do not feel insecure about yourself just because you think that your friend or your class fellow is perfect. Understand that being perfect doesn’t make you perfect. In fact, your flaws make you ideal and pretty because there is beauty in every flaw. When we are young we do not have a problem with our features or weight but as we grow up we start to find our nose too large, our lips too small and our skin too flawed. Media becomes the standard for measuring our level of attractiveness. You should decide for yourself what is beauty. Oh also, the magazine you see in which model seems gorgeous?Yeah, that is photoshopped.
“I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
2) Having too many friends is overrated
Have you ever had this moment when you go out and you see a large group of girls who are dressed in a certain way and are acting a certain way and your mother say “astegfurillah.kiya zamana agaya hai” and you cringe because they all are trying so hard to be swag(probably inspired by watching Justin Bieber’s old music videos) but end up looking like a bunch of losers?When we are young we all want to have a large group of friends because it looks cooler. Have you ever noticed that when you have a large group of friends you are only close to two or three friends and others are just fake and create drama in the group? Only have few close friends who cheer you up when you feel like you are six feet under the ground, motivate you when your life feels like a rollercoaster only going down,doesn’t judge you no matter how stupid and immature you act and doesn’t hesitate to slap you when you are thinking of doing something foolish.
“God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas but for scars.”Elbert Hubbard
3) You aren’t opinion of someone else
When you are growing up you realize that people are mean, cruel and they will pass judgment like they know you. They will always tear you down and make you feel like you are a waste of space and you cannot accomplish anything in life. It’s never about proving anything to anyone. It’s about proving to yourself that you are worth it. People will say nasty things about you but just ignore.No matter how anyone treats you or what they say about you, you should know you are better than that and you can move mountains and do wonders if you put the right amount of effort. Your self-worth is not determined by others but by yourself.
“You’ll stay with me?’
Until the very end,’ said James.”J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
4) Spend time with you parents
How many times have you heard your mom complain that you don’t spend time with her anymore?We are so busy in our lives that we often forget that our parents are getting older. For parents, their children mean the world so please treat them with respect and kindness. I know that sometimes school life gets so hectic that we forget to give our parents some time. Select a specific amount of time every day and spend it with your parents, no matter how tough and tiring life is while having a cup of tea with some biscuits.At the end of the day, you are not going to remember your test marks or the grades that you got on assignments but memories that you made. Family is above everything.
“And I just want to tell you, at some point, it doesn’t matter who was right and who was wrong. At some point, being angry is just another bad habit, like smoking, and you keep poisoning yourself without thinking about it.” Jonathan Tropper, This is Where I Leave You
5) Don’t speak when you are angry
I always had a problem with controlling my anger. If someone pissed me off, I would exhale fire through my nose and would say the cruelest thing to add the fire to the existing fuel. We all are emotional when we are young and often find it hard to control our rage and say whatever pops into our head without thinking of the consequences. Walk away when you are angry. Do not argue because you will say things that you will regret later on as we lose sight of who we are in anger. When the word vomit is coming out, just take a long walk and count to ten. Later on, when you feel much calmer, talk to that person and tell them how much their words have hurt you and try to solve the situation due to which the spark of fight was caused.
“Forgiveness doesn’t require approval,” she said. “God never approves of sin, but he still forgives us.” Sarah Sundin, A Memory Between Us
6) Learn to forgive
We all have been hurt one way or another and we find it so hard to move on due to that pain.We build a home of bitterness in our hearts because of that and never truly let go and are stuck in the past. The best advice someone can give you is to forgive others. If someone hurts you, instead of taking revenge, walk away to show how much of a greater person you are. Walk away because you know it’s their loss, not yours. Time and life are too precious to be wasted upon meaningless people. Use that time to heal and become a better version of yourself. Revenge is never the solution.
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”Thomas A. Edison
7) Never doubt yourself
Through our life, we will face setbacks and encounter many failures which will leave us broken. We start to doubt everything and we think we can not do anything right in our life.This is cancer because it’s okay to fail and make blunders in life as that’s what humans do. We make mistakes but most importantly learn from them and move on. The mistake is never a mistake if you learn. There will be times when you want to give up but never stop believing in yourself. Be strong. Never lose faith and even if you fall a thousand time, get right back up. Remember our failures and disappointment do not define us nor they decide our destiny. We do. Whether you get right back up or you stay broken, it’s your choice.
“When you are joyful, when you say yes to life and have fun and project positivity all around you, you become the sun in the center of every constellation, and people want to be near you.”Shannon L. Alder
8) Law of attraction is real
If someone had told me, when I was a teenager, that your thoughts manifest into action, my life would have been so much easier and simpler. I was an extremely negative person and throughout the day the only thoughts I had were negative ones which would make by day miserable. It felt like I was getting sucked into a black hole deeper and deeper and nothing was ever going right.Now people ask me how the hell am I so optimistic and so chill and here’s my secret.Think positive thoughts and have an optimistic approach to everything. Yes, everything. No matter what happens even if it feels like you are carrying a mountain on your shoulders. Your thoughts make who you are. If you keep on thinking negatively, bad stuff will happen to you. Believe that good thing will happen and be grateful no matter what. Mark my words , if you think you are gonna mess up then you are gonna mess up. As straightforward and elementary as that.
“Don’t blow off another’s candle for it won’t make yours shine brighter.”Jaachynma N.E. Agu, The Prince and the Pauper
9) Don’t try to fit in
We all have been there because we all have tried fitting in either at school or at work.Trying to be average just like everyone else so that everyone likes you. News flash bros, if you try to blend in with layers and layers of makeup, you will soon become invisible and that’s the last thing we all human beings want so be like a highlighter and stand out like a shining star. Believe me, you will, later on, realize how lame you were by trying to fit in. Don’t try to do what everyone is doing, in fact, do the opposite. Do what you wanna do and never follow the crowd. All the successful people never followed the crowd. They did what no one else did and that’s what made them successful.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” George Bernard Shaw
10) Be confident
I cannot emphasize enough on this one. My dear fellas, be confident and stand your ground. If a teacher asks you a question, answer it. Don’t be like,’ oh what if I get it wrong? Everyone will think I don’t know anything’. At work, if you have an idea, speak up and share it. Do not hesitate thinking,’oh what if everyone thinks it’s stupid’. It doesn’t matter what people say or think, just say whats you want to say. What’s the worst thing that could happen? They will laugh? So what? Just do what you have to. Follow your dreams and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something no matter where you at life. Be so confident that you have faith in yourself that you are able to do whatever you set your mind to.